BeXplosive.com

Working on Twitter

bexplosive — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 17:41:24 +0000

OK, so something strange happened with the twitter plugin, and I am trying to get it running again. You can always check my tweets directly from twitter.

Relax!

bexplosive — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 13:49:02 +0000

Everyone just relax!

When was the last time ….

Loud Rumble

bexplosive — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 21:02:26 +0000

If you hear a “loud rumble” in the sky, don’t worry. It’s not thunder. It’s Elvis beatin’ the shit out of Micheal Jackson for marrying his daughter.

Joke of the Year

bexplosive — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 12:58:24 +0000

Two women were sitting together, quietly.

Driving Range

bexplosive — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 19:58:22 +0000

Ok, so I’m at the driving range. There’s this idiot next to me that is standing on his left foot and putting his right foot behind him when he hits. Is this a trick he came up with himself? Did a teacher actually teach him this? Does he think balancing on one foot is helping?

Road Closure Notice

bexplosive — Tue, 26 May 2009 14:33:20 +0000

It’s pretty unlikely that you, or any of us for that matter, will be traveling thru or across South Dakota this upcoming weekend, but just in case: I-90 will be closed Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. They are hauling a 200 ton lump of coal from Pennsylvania to South Dakota so they can add President Obama to Mount Rushmore.

Gun Control

bexplosive — Sat, 23 May 2009 14:45:45 +0000

Barack Obama at a recent rural elementary school assembly in East Texas, asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence.

Then he said into the microphone: “Children, every time I clap my hands together, a child in America dies from gun violence.”

Then, little Richard Earl, with a proud East Texas drawl, pierced the quiet and said: ”Well, dumbass, stop clapping!”

Spam

bexplosive — Wed, 20 May 2009 13:50:00 +0000

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am tired of the following 2 spam emails I keep getting:

1. Acai Berry – Really? Who cares? Do people actually buy into this shit?

2. Make your penis bigger and harder and last longer – Again, do people actually buy into this? I got plenty of tool in my cabinet.

Vegas Weekend

bexplosive — Sat, 02 May 2009 15:03:48 +0000

I’m in Vegas for the weekend! Last got in late last night and after some quick gambling, we went out to Margaritaville to have a cheeseburger in paradise and see the band. We then hit a couple other bars then was at the craps table the rest of the night. Didn’t win, but today is a new day!

Murder

bexplosive — Sat, 02 May 2009 15:01:39 +0000

OK, so if attempted murder is a crime, is it possible to still get charged with it after you already killed somebody?